Chelsea B.- Stop Gossip...

When I first saw that Jaycee had written in her blog this week about gossip I was right away interested in what she had to say. I have always felt that as women, we are always influenced in the topics of gossip in everyday life. Whether it be a girls night out, a phone call from your best-friend or magazine that calls to our attention. As I started reading the blog I had so many AH-HA moments that really helped me to realize that even the smallest comments are a form of gossip. I've never felt that I was a huge gossiper about others but then thinking back to all the talks with my girlfriends, cousins, sister’s and even my mom always revolved around others and what they were doing in their lives. I started to think of all the places that I knew I would be tempted in gossip throughout the week and challenged myself not to run and hide from the temptation but to face it head on. I started off the week busy with the kids and not interacting with many people due to everyone’s busy schedule and the cold weather. As the days passed I felt so good about the fact that I hadn’t talked about anyone for those few days. Then Sunday morning approached and I knew that going to work would be like stepping right into the fire of gossip as soon as I stepped foot in that building. I was reminded that for the last three   weeks I had come into work, gone straight to my sister, where we would start complaining about our week and mostly about the workers that we would have to work with for the next 4 hours. I opened the door and went upstairs, right then and there I prayed that I would not fall into the trap of gossip but rather have a positive approach at work and maybe let the other girls know that I wasn't going to join in the negative talk but rather let them know what my plan was to try to lead a life of less gossip, negativity and to talk about things that really mattered. After this, I walked up to the front and there was my sister and immediately she said something to me as per usual about something that we would have normally talked about all of our Sunday mornings. I felt bad at first because I knew that I had been the one on some Sundays to start my day like this and as she started saying something I just nodded my head and didn’t say much. I think she was a little taken back so I quickly said that I was really trying not to gossip about anyone and that I just felt like it wasn’t the right thing for me to do at work anymore. She kindly said "each to their own" and quickly got a cup of coffee for a customer across the room. That whole day I felt great, like I had such a great day at work with nice conversation. After work I realized that that was what I needed, to just come to work and not have it be a bash session of anything and anyone. I left work that day and for the next few days I did so well. I then had to go to the store with the kids for some milk and eggs. I knew that I was going to be tempted by the gossip magazines that I had been getting there EVERY time that I stepped foot into that store. As I got to the counter I found myself peering out of one eye just to got a sneak peek of some kind of " he cheated" or look at how skinny or fat she is" something to get me a little satisfied without actually buying the magazine. I quickly realized that what I was doing was still wrong and looked away and walked through paid for my things and left the store not really missing the magazine that I loved to read in the afternoons. I went on perfectly fine not knowing what celeb was on a mental break this week. It felt great. Another day went by and I knew that I was going to be spending some much needed girl time with a few ladies for a house party. I went in there not really knowing who was going to be there or what the conversations would be. The whole night was great, catching up with some that I knew and learning about others that I had just met. I felt like the whole night was a gossip free , productive night, until...It was the end of the night and a friend that I knew who likes to have all the grease on people sat down and out of the blue said something that I knew was my test that night. When she started talking I wanted so badly to say something about the topic but I bit my tongue and just said oh yah and that I wasn't really going to talk about the topic anymore. I left the conversation at me replying "no comment" and moved on. I know that she was a little shocked and I felt like she was disappointed that I didn’t keep talking about it but I felt like I had done the right thing in that situation.

This week was harder than I thought it would be. I didn’t think that I talked about others so much but I realized that I do it in so many different ways not even meaning to gossip or say anything in a bad way. The one thing that I realized about myself is that it was easier for me to shut someone down from talking about gossip and change the subject than to ignore the inner voice inside of urging me to do the right thing. Another thing I realized this week, is how much gossip I say to myself. I was really made aware of this ‘self talk’ in the first few days that I was at home alone or playing with my kids. I say things about others in my head and even have self-to-self dialogue going on in my which I realized was me gossiping with myself. So I decided this week that I really wanted to stop gossiping aloud but also stop talking negative thoughts in my head about others and negative talk to myself.  I have learnt so much this week and I thank you Jaycee for making us all aware of how prevalent gossip is in our lives and for encouraging us to use our time together in a more positive productive way.