Hit and Run? Sin and Run?

Last week I spent some time reading Exodus 20 where God gives Moses the Ten Commandments. I was meditating on each commandment in attempt to surface the present sins that were hindering my relationship with God and before I fell asleep that night I asked God to reveal the unconscious sins in my life throughout my week. I went to bed with a sense of peace and woke up feeling beautiful (that’s right I said it) and motivated to hit the gym. I was in a rush to make the 8 o’clock spin class so sprinting up the hill to my car was not a setback. However once I backed out of my parallel parking spot, my car started to roll towards the car on my left. So I put on my breaks and shifted into reverse again, except for it was not in reverse, I accidentally put it in first gear. Oops. I gave the car plenty of gas and, as you can imagine, I slammed right into the other person’s car. It made a cracking noise loud enough for me to look left and right to see who was watching. Nobody. Instantly, that devious voice came rushing in and filled my mind like the floodwaters that filled the earth in Noah’s era. “You are such an idiot, Jaycee. Do you know how much this is going to cost you? Now you and Andrew aren’t going to be able to go to Prague this weekend, Germany is out of the question and they might even deport you from the country”. With my jaw still dropped open I backed up to examine the damage. The view from the front windshield revealed what looked like a crack and some scratches on the right side of their bumper. In fear of bumping into the car again, I decided that I’d drive to the bottom of the hill and park the car there. However that two second ride with the devils voice was all it took for me to keep on driving. Yes, I repeat, I kept on driving. As I drove further away I started to feel like Moses when he fled to the desert after killing an Egyptian man. These are some of the thoughts that drove me away “I can’t afford to pay for this, and besides the owner probably won’t see it anyways. And when He does see it, there is no way that he will know that it was me”. “The guy probably has insurance to cover the damage” “And if there is damage on my car I will tell the team manager that somebody ran into me” “Just keep driving Jaycee, Nobody knows but you and if you’re lucky, when you come back from the gym that car might be gone so you won’t even have a chance to tell them what happened”. I was like a five year old who denies scribbling all over the wall, but when her parents turn her around they find the same colored marker clutched in her hand. This is me, except for I am 24 years old, the paint is on my front bumper and my Father witnessed me doing it. I wish I could say that halfway to the gym, I pulled a U-Turn and headed back to my apartment to confess what I had done. But I didn’t. Instead I kept on driving and repeating to myself “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh…”When I arrived to the gym I walked to the front of my car and like a professional hit man  wiped off the smudge of black paint on my bumper. When I walked in the front doors I was not even the slightest bit upset to hear spin was cancelled and as if on auto pilot I went to my own bike and pedaled away slowly. At this point I could feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit so strong that I couldn’t help but to burry my head in my hands and cry. I knew that running away from the accident was wrong, and in some countries it is a criminal offence. I expressed my remorse and although I knew God forgave me I was hoping he would take away the guilt of what I had done. Given enough time I’m sure I would have found peace again, but I could feel the Lords discipline so strongly that I no longer wanted to run away from my sin. Although I had not yet confessed to the car owner what happened,  as soon as my heart agreed to obey the Holy Spirit’s guidance, I entered into the peace of God. The next hour I was filled with an extreme amount of faith that everything was going to be fine. It was really strange to feel both excited and scared to do the right thing but I knew God was by my side and His scripture was cheering me on.  After an hour of reciting scripture and praying I left the gym and headed to the apartments with a note in both Czech and English explaining what happened earlier this morning. When I arrived at the apartments I was relieved to see the car still parked in the same spot. I walked up the hill and once I stepped closer to the car I was shocked to see that there indeed was no crack in the bumper but what only looked like a few scratches. “Yes, Thank you Jesus”. I grabbed my towel from my gym bag and proceeded to wipe off the mud on the bumper and to my astonishment there was NOTHING there. Not a crack, dent or scratch. I started to laugh as I looked at the magical towel. I stood up, laughed some more like a crazy person, and praised God for His miracle. I might have even spun around I was so filled with Joy. I instantly felt God smiling down at me from up above and I could tell that He was just as happy as I was at that moment. I could feel in my spirit that I had blessed God by reversing the wrong that I had done, and I knew in my heart that this miracle was God’s blessing to me. Some may argue that there was no damage from the beginning, in fact I could easily think that too, but I choose to believe that through my faith God performed a miracle. As I walked into my apartment with a huge smile, I couldn’t help but to think about what would have happened if I continued to run away from my sin and put my faith in the enemy. I would still be carrying the weight of sin with me as I speak today. I would be paralyzed with thoughts of that person paying for the damage I thought I had done and would be filled with fear every time I passed that car or the owner. I would also be taking a giant step backwards in my relationship with Jesus by choosing to put my trust in the lies instead of holding fast to God’s word.

Here are a few things I feel led to share with you in relation to my personal story

“Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin” - James 4:17

I knew that driving away after hitting another car was wrong, it was dishonest and my spirit was immediately grieved about it. The truth is, we all do things that are wrong and sometimes we even disregard our conscience in order to do them. How many times do we dabble in gossip after promising ourselves we aren’t going to talk badly about others, or exercise our demons when we are driving behind granny smith who is taking up both lanes or when we complain after being asked to help out with dishes by your mother. Doing wrong when you know what is right, is a sin regardless of how ‘innocent’ you think it is.  

 “My son do not despise the lords discipline or resent his rebuke because the Lord disciplines those he loves as a father does to the son he delights in”Proverbs 3:11-12

When a mother disciplines her son for running around the house with a pair of scissors in his hands, is it out of hate or love? Obviously she disciplines him out of love. As a parent you naturally want to protect your child from harming themselves or harming others.  God disciplines us out of this same kind of Parent-child love. Without God’s discipline I would have eventually convinced myself that driving away from the accident was the right thing to do and suppressed my guilt by using excuses to justify what I had done. I encourage you to humble yourselves into obedience to His discipline and remember that His words are motivated by an immeasurable amount of love for you.

 “He who conceals his sins does not prosper but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy”- Proverbs 28:13

When there is another person involved in the equation of sin, God may lead you to confess the truth or apologize to the victim of your sin. There is no way that I could have just hit that car, drove away and said “Oh God I thank you for forgiving me for committing this hit and run, I promise that I will never do this again”.  No, taking responsibility for our actions goes hand in hand with repentance to God. Whoever conceals his sin will not prosper but who confesses them finds mercy. Now perhaps you do not need to confess about a hit and run like I did but I believe God is asking us to humble ourselves towards the people we have hurt and counter sin with right doing. Some examples of this may be: Telling the truth after you have lied to someone, giving back the extra ten dollars the Sobeys clerk gave you, saying sorry after you yell at your mother, cleaning up your dogs poop on the sidewalk, picking up the piece of litter that you threw away, telling your husband about the pair of shoes you bought last month on your joint bank account, saying sorry to a family member that you have hurt in the past. You never know what sorts of miracles or blessings He has up his sleeve for those who obey His voice, even those who obey after they sin and run.

“Fear of man proves to be a snare but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe”  Proverbs 29:25

 I encourage you to ask God to reveal the hidden sins in your life and to lead you on a path of righteousness where you will be completely led by the Holy Spirit.  When you know the difference between right and wrong I pray that you will save yourself the heartache and do the right thing.  If you do get tempted into sin I pray that you will not run but rather be reminded that the Lords discipline comes to those who He loves.  I also hope that if you get the opportunity to do the right thing after you have sinned that you will trust in the Lord to keep you safe as you walk the path of humility.